Me, a gavone?

Call me whatever you like, but I don’t think you can call me a gavone unless one day of virtual filter feeding in New York City is enough to make me a glutton. Wow, did I ever eat and drink a lot last Saturday during a gastronomic ramble through NYC’s Chinatown and Little Italy. Last year’s tour of Little India in Flushing, NY did not involve one 1/3 of the calories that I ingested during this masticatathon.

It began with a desultory train ride in a dirty grey Amtrak train through Philadelphia and some of the most miserable hyper-industrialized landscape in North America, viz. the marshlands (Really called The Meadowlands; but my standards of literacy will not permit me to refer to a swamp as a meadow .) of New Jersey. It was not until the train slid into the tunnel that leads into Penn Station that my mood blew up over what I was about to do.

See, I love Manhattan. When I’m in Manhattan my heart beat slows down and my mind goes into a state where it is perfectly alert to its surroundings yet it daydreams like mad. It tosses up images of what the city looked like when I was a kid or what it imagined it looked like when my grandparents lived there as children. It even throws in images of things I read in books and saw in movies. The city becomes a split screen experience where now plays opposite to the imagined past and the living walk side by side with ghosts.

My brain did not start amusing itself by populating the city in earnest with ghosts until I was in my ‘30’s and was working on 34th Street at the New York Restaurant School. I taught classes at night that ended around 11PM. It was during my walks up to Grand Central Station that my brain started to embroider the present with the past in earnest. Now it happens every time I’m in there, and I love it like salt. But whoa, I’m running way off topic!

I checked into my hotel in Union Square (Way cool digs!) around noon, grabbed a cup of coffee at a Starbucks where some guy with red spots on the back of his neck was milling around asking people if they’d seen the bottle of detergent that had been given to him by the “Health Department” (more like “Brain Police”). Coffee-in-hand and heart-in-mouth hoping that the guy wouldn’t accuse me of stealing his soap, I made my way down to the corner of Mott and Pell St. to meet up with my crew.

Mike Pardus had called me to say that he and Megan Jessee were going to be a few minutes late because their GPS –probably cold cocked by the same stupid inducing radio waves that caused the recent economic crisis- got confused in the Financial District. But Krishnendu Ray and David Livert were already there munching on ice cold perfectly ripe lychee fruits. Kris had a big bag of them and man, they tasted great as we stood there sweltering in the heat of the midday sun. My hands soon became sticky from the sugar and I got a little annoyed when no one would let me wipe them on their clothes. (I mean: WTF?) Then out of the crowd Pardus and Megan appeared, then Anne E. Mcbride materialized and we were off.

It was pure coincidence that we met Pardus’ friend and collaborator Wendy Chan with her family as we were deciding whether or not to go into Aji Ichiban to ogle and sample its snack food. Instead the Chans proposed that we join them for lunch at Ping for dim sum (see slide show). After Ping we stumbled into Aji Ichiban and rummaged through bins of sweet squid, tiny crispy and sweet crabs and a whole lot of stuff that would make my kids recoil in horror at the mere thought that anyone would eat such stuff (What else is surprising thank you?)

After Aji Ichiban the afternoon was a blur until we stopped at Oriental Garden for beer and a big bowl of whole stir fried shrimp (Don’t worry, the eyes only look cool, they don’t have much taste.). Then a hurried walk to Bahn Mi Saigon Bakery and another Vietnamese sandwich shop so that Pardus could check their Banh Mi against the version he makes at CIA (the geek was actually taking notes), a chop stick shop (YunHong Chopstick Shop) with chop sticks that made me sad that I eat with a knife and fork unless I’m eating Chinese or Japanese food (which is not very often)and a tea shop whose name I forgot long before I will ever forget the beauty of its design.

We stumbled into a fierce and beautiful downpour as we made our way east past not much of interest except a 40 plus story cobalt blue glass apartment building that was the most beautiful ugly piece of architecture I’ve seen in a long time until we reached our final stop, Kuma Inn on Ludlow Street where we had a reservation for dinner at 7:00PM.

Of course by this time I felt like eating like I always feel about prostate exams. However, I had very good reasons to overcome my queasiness over swallowing another dose of food. King Phojanakong, the chef and owner of Kuma Inn had been my student in Introduction to Gastronomy in 1996 and again after he returned from his internship at Restaurant Daniel for my class in Advanced Culinary Principles (aka Experimental) class. He was also in Mike Pardus’ charcuterie class. In other words the chef was one of us.

I’m going to leave it to Mike Pardus to explain what the meal was like and how King is doing in what is probably the most competitive restaurant market in the world. Suffice it to say here that the food is highly idiosyncratic to King’s acculturation as a Thai-Pilipino, native New Yorker who is highly trained in French culinary technique, design and philosophy. I came away gob smacked by the experience.

But how could I not have been? I was in the city I love more than almost any other place on the planet with great friends eating and drinking with a former student (Who doesn’t seem to hate me!) and -wait a minute, I almost forgot to mention Neil Guillen, another former student was working there too- you know, I may not be a gavone for food, but I wish I could eat that kind of experience all day every day. Sigh.

Vintage TV: David Susskind and Six NY Restaurateurs

Watch five once-famous restaurateurs and Sirio Maccione talk about what is takes to make a great restaurant. You will notice that none of them are chefs and recall that it was not that long ago that chefs became the principal public representatives of the restaurant business. Before chefs, it was the “suits” who ruled the roost -and still do in many cases. However nowadays, if a suit is in charge of the house he puts the chef out front because he knows the public likes us better.

Why the public prefers to see chefs out front is not something that I pretend to understand. It is not in any way obvious to me that cooks are, as a species of worker, intrinsically more or less entertaining than a matre d’ hotel or a busboy for that matter.

This is from Hulu.com which seeds in short commercials.

Is Fat Duck Victim of Sabotage?

“Celebrity chef Heston Blumenthal had to close the world-famous Fat Duck last week after 40 customers fell ill.”
Fat Duck food poisoning scare: Was it sabotage? | Mail Online

Is Fat Duck Victim of Sabotage?

“Celebrity chef Heston Blumenthal had to close the world-famous Fat Duck last week after 40 customers fell ill.”
Fat Duck food poisoning scare: Was it sabotage? | Mail Online

Never Say "Never"

This list of things one should never do in a restaurant is not only conspicuous for it’s exclusion of truly foolish behaviors like trying to tip the server with an angry dog or arriving with your own china and flatware because you read about some dive where that had been cited by the health department for a busted thermostat on its dishwasher, but for it’s inclusion of some truly wrong-headed tips. I’ll refrain for now from telling you which of these tips I think are completely smacked-ass (My newest favorite expression. I’ll get over it; I promise.) and sit back and enjoy your comments.

The home of this list of tips can be found at the end of an article at the TimesOnline that wonders if we are about to enter an era where chefs don’t scream and throw stuff at their employees. The author wonders if the recent appearance of female chefs in a profession that was (and still is) dominated by males might alter the dynamic of the realtionship between the chef and the brigade de cuisine and lead to a kinder, gentler, more democratic style of management.

I say yes, because as everyone knows, women never scream or throw things. They are incapable of being dictatorial and intolerant and always value communication over bullying and intimidation. Sorry, I couldn’t resist.

Things you should never do in a restaurant

•Trust the hollandaise sauce. Bacteria love it, and it’s never made to order.

•Even think about ordering anything if the bathrooms are filthy. Imagine what the kitchen must be like.

•Order your steak well done. You’re likely to end up with meat that the chef was unhappy to send out to anyone else.

•Go on a Monday. A lot of wine will be sold at the weekend, so the bottle you fancy could be out of stock.

•On Mondays, the ‘fresh fish’ could be less than fresh: boats don’t go out on a Sunday. And it’s a quieter day, so the chef is likely to not be there.

•Order the special. It could be that the chef legitimately wants to try out something new. But it might just as likely be designed to push older inventory.

• Get seduced by something with a sauce or gravy — they cover up mistakes.

•Order a medium steak and send it back as it’s pink in the middle. That’s what it’s meant to look like. Send it back when it’s not the kitchen’s fault and you open yourself up to a world of pain.

•Order oysters. Ever. I have a gastroenterologist friend, and the one thing he’ll never eat is oysters — they can contain the dangerous vibrio bacteria.

•Order off-menu. You’re just showing off. Unless you’re on a special diet. A chef does a menu to the best of his ability, and if you turn your nose up at it, you’re unlikely to get the best out of him. [Source]

Never Say "Never"

This list of things one should never do in a restaurant is not only conspicuous for it’s exclusion of truly foolish behaviors like trying to tip the server with an angry dog or arriving with your own china and flatware because you read about some dive where that had been cited by the health department for a busted thermostat on its dishwasher, but for it’s inclusion of some truly wrong-headed tips. I’ll refrain for now from telling you which of these tips I think are completely smacked-ass (My newest favorite expression. I’ll get over it; I promise.) and sit back and enjoy your comments.

The home of this list of tips can be found at the end of an article at the TimesOnline that wonders if we are about to enter an era where chefs don’t scream and throw stuff at their employees. The author wonders if the recent appearance of female chefs in a profession that was (and still is) dominated by males might alter the dynamic of the realtionship between the chef and the brigade de cuisine and lead to a kinder, gentler, more democratic style of management.

I say yes, because as everyone knows, women never scream or throw things. They are incapable of being dictatorial and intolerant and always value communication over bullying and intimidation. Sorry, I couldn’t resist.

Things you should never do in a restaurant

•Trust the hollandaise sauce. Bacteria love it, and it’s never made to order.

•Even think about ordering anything if the bathrooms are filthy. Imagine what the kitchen must be like.

•Order your steak well done. You’re likely to end up with meat that the chef was unhappy to send out to anyone else.

•Go on a Monday. A lot of wine will be sold at the weekend, so the bottle you fancy could be out of stock.

•On Mondays, the ‘fresh fish’ could be less than fresh: boats don’t go out on a Sunday. And it’s a quieter day, so the chef is likely to not be there.

•Order the special. It could be that the chef legitimately wants to try out something new. But it might just as likely be designed to push older inventory.

• Get seduced by something with a sauce or gravy — they cover up mistakes.

•Order a medium steak and send it back as it’s pink in the middle. That’s what it’s meant to look like. Send it back when it’s not the kitchen’s fault and you open yourself up to a world of pain.

•Order oysters. Ever. I have a gastroenterologist friend, and the one thing he’ll never eat is oysters — they can contain the dangerous vibrio bacteria.

•Order off-menu. You’re just showing off. Unless you’re on a special diet. A chef does a menu to the best of his ability, and if you turn your nose up at it, you’re unlikely to get the best out of him. [Source]

What does it take to get a Wine Spectator Award of Excellence?

Well, according to Robin Goldstein, the author of The Wine Trials , nothing more than a lively imagination and payment of $250.00 fee. Robin submitted the menu of a fictitious restaurant sporting a high priced “reserve” wine list made up (depending on who you choose to believe: Goldstein or The Wine Spectator) largely or partially from wines that had been given low-ratings by The Wine Spectator, and received their Award of Excellence.

You can read Robin’s side of the story HERE and The Wine Spectator’s response to the hoax HERE.

My thanks out to Crazy Raven for tipping me off to this amusing story. -Bob dG

What does it take to get a Wine Spectator Award of Excellence?

Well, according to Robin Goldstein, the author of The Wine Trials , nothing more than a lively imagination and payment of $250.00 fee. Robin submitted the menu of a fictitious restaurant sporting a high priced “reserve” wine list made up (depending on who you choose to believe: Goldstein or The Wine Spectator) largely or partially from wines that had been given low-ratings by The Wine Spectator, and received their Award of Excellence.

You can read Robin’s side of the story HERE and The Wine Spectator’s response to the hoax HERE.

My thanks out to Crazy Raven for tipping me off to this amusing story. -Bob dG

El Bulli Sh-t or Not?

So this Swiss guy who is alleged to have decided to blow his life savings by eating at every 3-Star Michelin restaurant in the world and writing about his adventure, stepped away from his table at El Bulli to retrieve his business cards and vanished (POOF!) into thin air. The manager of El Bulli says he doubts that Henry Pascal, 46 simply skipped out on the bill because he left behind a notebook with menus that had been hand-written by three, 3-Star chefs.

But how does the manager know that the menus are authentic? And even if they are for real, are they worth as much or more than the 300 plus Euros of a meal at El Bulli? Me, I think that the manager is simply behaving like the premiere restaurateur that he was born to be and is trying to give the M. Pascal the benefit of his doubt.

But me? Well, I smell une rrrrrrrrrat Suisse!

Gourmet on tour disappears from renowned restaurant

El Bulli Sh-t or Not?

So this Swiss guy who is alleged to have decided to blow his life savings by eating at every 3-Star Michelin restaurant in the world and writing about his adventure, stepped away from his table at El Bulli to retrieve his business cards and vanished (POOF!) into thin air. The manager of El Bulli says he doubts that Henry Pascal, 46 simply skipped out on the bill because he left behind a notebook with menus that had been hand-written by three, 3-Star chefs.

But how does the manager know that the menus are authentic? And even if they are for real, are they worth as much or more than the 300 plus Euros of a meal at El Bulli? Me, I think that the manager is simply behaving like the premiere restaurateur that he was born to be and is trying to give the M. Pascal the benefit of his doubt.

But me? Well, I smell une rrrrrrrrrat Suisse!

Gourmet on tour disappears from renowned restaurant